I don’t deal well with change.

Okay, no one really does, if they’re honest. But I feel like I’m pretty bad at it. Maybe it’s because I’m a storyteller. I see things in arcs and subplots. I realize that real life is full of foreshadowing, and I tend to plot out the future in my mind. I think of the people in my life as characters in my story—and of myself as a character in theirs.

Problem is, even real life has plot holes. Sometimes you don’t see the foreshadowing coming until you’re looking from hindsight. And real-life people are as unpredictable as good fictional characters—sometimes even more so.

And this year has been a year of major change so far. I stopped outlining one book in favor of a different story idea that has me gripped. I decided that The Three Thrones was too complex to make a book trailer for it…but now I’m going for it anyway. Found out my editor is retiring from freelancing so I’m looking for a new one, which is a tricky sitch for the last book in a series.

Add to that family and friends moving in (literally) different directions, it can kinda feel like I’m drowning in everything. Like I’m being pulled apart.

You might think this post is about to turn into some kind of revelatory self-help guide on how to deal with major life change. It’s not. I don’t have it all figured out. And as much as I’d like to have some sort of deep spiritual advice, I don’t have it. I’m still in the middle of everything, living out a mangled twist of subplots that have yet to be resolved. But if there’s anything I can see in it, that would be—

Surrender.

Sometimes the greatest lesson is just letting go. And maybe this is what it takes. It takes having things pulled from your hands, having so much on your shoulders that you know you can’t bear it on you own, to let go and turn to Jesus. It’s easy for me to think I can balance my life and hold things together like I do with my books. But not so. Solomon said it best.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man,

But it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

(Proverbs 19:21)

And I think this is the lesson I have to learn over and over again. That God’s plan is always better than mine. That things are not going to go the way I think.

The song “Rivers and Roads” has really resonated with me lately. It’s about change. About people moving away. About missing people.

But ultimately, it’s a hopeful reminder. A reminder that the love of family and friends can weather storms, withstand distance, and keep us going even in dark times. So I’d offer this last thought: love the people in your life. Even when it’s hard, even when they’re far away, keep loving until your roads meet again.

Rivers and roads, rivers and roads,

Rivers ‘till I reach you.

Rivers and roads, rivers and roads,

Rivers ’till I reach you.